It's been almost a year!

WOW, my last blog post was nearly a year ago!! I can't believe it! What a year it has been!! I have a new job that I never imagined I would have, but I absolutely love it!! I am designing smartphone apps for small businesses!! So far, it's mostly restaurants, but I design and create mobile apps and submit them to the app stores in Android and Apple (iPhone/iPad)! Isn't that cool!?? I feel so super official and smart when I see the apps I made in the app stores! It's really fun!!! I've always thought I'd be happiest and most content working with children. This has nothing to do with kids, but I get to be creative and I get the challenge of making sales- it's truly exhilarating!! It's also refreshing to have a break from jobs that pull at my heartstrings so much. The jobs I've held since college were so painful at times. I was watching children and their families, suffering. And although I felt I could make a difference, it was extremely difficult. Now I'm giving my heart a break and having a wonderful time learning and having all these new experiences! (Here is some of my work- I also built the site from scratch! YEA!!)

I also have another huge, HUGE blessing in my life! I have a boyfriend. He's different than any other man I've ever dated or been interested in. He is literally everything I have prayed for!!! He is so many things I didn't even know I wanted or needed. Every other man I've dated has been "the life of the party" type of guy. My man is more on the quiet side. He has a gentle disposition and a great sense of humor! His laid back attitude certainly helps balance my passionate intensity! And his heart for the Lord and how natural it is for him to take that role of spiritual leadership in our relationship is the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced! It also doesn't hurt that he's the most attractive man I've ever seen in my life (seriously). He is tall, dark, handsome and HOT!!! I've never been so comfortable and so at peace with someone the way I am with him. He's truly a blessing, and I'm doing all I can to be the best "me" I can be and the woman God wants me to be.

A dozen roses "just because" from my amazing man!!

As for the rest of the updates... well, I'm still dealing with the chronic pelvic pain. It's honestly very difficult but I am so much mentally stronger than I was a year ago. I am handling it. I can push through it much, much better than I used to. And sleep is still a major struggle. I guess some things never change, but life is still oh, so good even with those challenges!! I am just so thankful for my life and all that I have going on right now. I am richly blessed!!

Here are a few photos from the last few months:
June:

My niece, Ellie, and I at the wedding! She's way too precious!

Me with the Bride and Groom ~ Chris and Erin got married June 25th

Me and Whitney at the wedding

July:

Sara, a friend from college and I when I visited her and her husband, Seth

August:

BFF, Nora, came for 2 weeks after we hadn't seen each other in over 3 years!!

We had a great time and I miss her always!

September:

Jordan and I when we went up to EWU to visit him and watch him play football - more on this soon!

Mom & I cheering for the EWU Eagles!

The Inferno- the nickname for Roos Field at Eastern Washington University (where Jordan plays)

October:

Hanging out with 2 of Amanda's 3 daughters. I love them!! Ashley (2)  & Addie (5)

Stay tuned, I am going to do another 30 days of Thanksgiving, starting Wednesday, October 26th. 

Thinkin' About The Mr.

Confession: It's been quite some time since I've been really anxious to be married. Lately it's been on my mind more. I don't get too wrapped up in the whole wedding day princess daydreaming thing... I just want to be married. Even in the midst of what I've been going through physically, I feel strong. I feel so strong spiritually, mentally, emotionally. I just feel that I'm in a place where I know who I am and what I want out of life and what my priorities are. I am responsible and driven and ready to know who he is. It makes me smile to have this readiness. I am super independent. I don't want to be married because I am lonely or because I hate being single. I actually enjoy being single and I rarely get lonely- I am just ready for that commitment. I also don't expect some perfect fairytale romance. I definitely have the experience with relationships to know that there's a lot of work and compromise required. But I am ready- I am so ready to have my best friend and teammate by my side. It's so weird to think that there's a man walking the earth right now who's going to be my best friend and teammate some day. I wonder do I know him? does he already think I'm "the one?" If I don't know him, where is he? How will we meet? I pray for him a lot lately. I want that best friend. The best friend that "gets" me. That appreciates who I am. Someone who sees WAY deeper than what meets the eye. It does't take much effort for a guy to tell me I'm beautiful or hot or sexy or whatever, but the effort is getting to know my heart and my faults and loving me for what's inside me. It sounds cliche` but it is so important to me. I would love a man adventurous enough to wake up in the morning and decide to take a spontaneous road trip, but also chill enough to lay around and watch college football all day on a Saturday. I want a man who's comfortable in his role as one. I could go on forever... Anyway, I'm ready for my teammate. Above all those things, first and foremost, my man-my teammate will love Jesus more than he loves me. And he will challenge me constantly to grow deeper in my faith. AND we'll be hot for each other. That's a requirement! *wink,wink*

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~Day 10~

Today I am thankful for *PEACE*.

I am not talking about "peace not war," peace, but the peace that comes from the Lord. The daily peace he has truly already given us. We have to choose to accept that peace! I struggle with this. I stress out easy. I let little things get to me, and then I have to remind myself, "Krystle, you're stressed over work, or what you're going to wear to ___, or money, or health... but Jesus is bigger than all of these things." I was reading Matthew 6 this morning and it really convicted me about some of the ridiculous things I worry about...

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I am just so encouraged that I don't have to worry... I can and I DO have peace!! Here are some other verses about peace that I like:


The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.

Ps. 29:10-11
Consider the blameless, observe the upright; a future awaits those who seek peace.

Ps. 37:37
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Is 26:2


Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27

Strength to The Weary

28 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

In this tough season a friend reminded me of one of my favorite passages, Isaiah 40:28-31. A reminder that my strength comes from him. Another one that I am clinging to is:

9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

I am so encouraged that when I cannot depend on the doctors to help me, or medication to help me or anything else, I can rest and have peace knowing that God is my great healer. He can give me strength when I am weak. In fact, He can BE my strength. It is such a beautiful thing to know and recognize this when hopelessness and doubt begin to enter my heart. I have to remember He is my rock. He is my deliverer, and He will bring me through the tough weeks of dr visits, ER vists, and just pure exhaustion and pain.

He knows, He cares, and He will bring me through this.

I'll be found in you...

On Sunday at church we had a guest worship leader. She sang the song, "Shadow Feet," by Brooke Fraser, during offering. I had never heard it before but the words really spoke to me and I found myself singing it in my head the rest of the day. Well, I have been listening to Pandora at work this morning and it came on! So now I know the artist and name. It's such a beautiful song and it just reminds me of where I am with life right now... here are the words to the chorus:

When the world has fallen out from under me

I'll be found in you, still standing

When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees

When time and space are through

I'll be found in you

You make all things new

You make all things new

You make all things new

Great song! Here is the YouTube link to the song: "Shadow Feet," Brook Fraser



His Faithfulness

*Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.*

Hebrews 10:23

This has been one of the craziest and most difficult weeks ever, and once again my heavenly father has proved himself faithful. I am so humbled by his love and faithfulness to me. I am so blessed that He would pick me up and carry me through when I couldn't walk on my own.

I love that even though circumstances have not changed I can choose joy because Jesus is my refuge. He has allowed me to rest in peace as I continue to seek Him and trust Him.

I am so glad it's Friday, though!

*EXHALE*

Cell Phones...

So, I think I have had a cell phone for nearly 10 years now. Since I have had one it has pretty much always been a part of my body. I am always texting or emailing from it, and yes- I admit, I usually have one of the newest versions with my emails and internet access at my fingertips at all times. Most would think that upon losing my cell phone I would probably have a complete breakdown and loose my mind!! :) At one point that may have been true, but Friday night I lost it (long story) and didn't have a phone until yesterday afternoon!! That's 4 days with no phone and no internet access at home. It was AWESOME!! Seriously, aside from a few slight annoying moments of really wanting to catch up with a friend or make an important phone call, I really enjoyed not being able to be "reached" at all times. It was so peacefull being at home in the evening without my phone ringing and with no anxiety about waiting for an email or call or something. I think I am going to take some cell phone holidays at least monthly. I encourage you all to try it too!!

Filling in the blanks...

Not much to say on this one… I have so many questions for God… Some "blanks" that need to be filled in...


Today I am pondering God’s Will in my life. I am wondering how I am sure I hear His voice sometimes. I am longing to be obedient and wise and wondering why sometimes things don’t turn out the way they seem they will. Days like these can be frustrating but I am feeling increasingly determined to use it as a season of learning and a time to get to know the heart of God more. I want my desires to be His desires…

Over the past few months I have seen His grace abound in my life as I heal, grow, learn and seek Him. I want to trust that this will continue as I seek to trust Him in a deeper way.

My favorite childhood verse... Matthew 7:7... I am continuing to ask.

On a lighter note, I must say that I am really enjoying these beautiful, sunny, brisk, wintery days. Oregon is a beautiful place when it is not raining. I am grateful. 

HIGH HOPES!!

Ok, so I only have a minute but here is a quick update:

Yesterday I was pondering China with the Lord... checking my calendar and thinking about how little PTO I have especially after being sick. Then it dawned on me; work is closing for Christmas and New Year's for a week and a half straight! I of course love spending the holidays with my family, but what a joy and delight it would be to spend it serving at Bethel!?! Right?? SO, I got some pastoral advice, which said to move forward, then I emailed Bethel, and they gave me the big "thumbs up." Now it is up to my Father in heaven. If He somehow provides the airfare, then I get to celebrate Christmas and begin the New Year in China, at Bethel! WHOA!!!

Please pray, send happy thoughts... whatever you feel lead to do. I am hoping BIG!

Fear Not...

I have to say, my tender heart has been burdened. I have been struck with anxiety while reading the news lately. This past year and even week, has been full of horrific stories of violence within places where we naturally assume safety such as home and the workplace. The recent shootings within families, and intruders at work... ugh, they sadden me deeply and I have been pondering how I can possibly feel safe anywhere I go. This morning I am feeling more hopeful as the Lord reminds me of His divine protection over my life. I am still wrestling inside about why these things happen, but in the end I must rest, knowing my life is in His hands. There is nothing I can do to be safe but trust Him and walk in the freedom He has given me. This passage in Isaiah comes to mind as he reminds me of the freedom that I, specifically have found in Him:

"I took you from the ends of the earth,

from its farthest corners I called you.

I said, 'You are my servant';

I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

All who rage against you

will surely be ashamed and disgraced;

those who oppose you

will be as nothing and perish.

Though you search for your enemies,

you will not find them.

Those who wage war against you

will be as nothing at all.

For I am the LORD, your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you. "

Isaiah 41:10-13

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."

1 Peter 3:13-15

Why do I put my hope in Him???
He loves me, He's my Father, my Protector, my Shield, my Grace, my Stregnth, my Savior.

 

"In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because He first loved us."

1 John 4:17-19

Now I lay me down to sleep...

I believe it is common knowledge that sleep is something I have been struggling with for a few years now. My insomnia has been a chronic problem that has even been resistant to several very strong medical interventions. I remember about 2 years ago when my primary care provider, who had been my doctor since high school, told me that it is possible no amount of medications would help me sleep because of significant trauma I had undergone. She told me that my brain was likely protecting me through insomnia. She compared it to survival instincts in nocturnal animals that stay awake to protect themselves from predators. I remember feeling like her explanation of my condition made more sense than what I had heard from any other medical specialist, but it was also not as easily solved as, “here’s a pill, take it before bed and sleep soundly!” I was not sure what to do with that information other than take it to the Lord. In those days my relationship with God was not quite as strong as it is now, so I did pray, but not with the fervent heart and expectation of healing that I pray with now.

O LORD, hear me as I pray;

pay attention to my groaning.

2 Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God,

for I pray to no one but you.

3 Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD.

Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.

Psalm 5 1-3

Anyway, in the recent months I have shared my experience of not sleeping with many friends here and in China and I know that there are MANY people who have been praying for me. I feel so loved and cared for by my family and friends, who have prayed for me, sent me thoughtful notes and encouraged me in my frustrating times. Throughout this “Season of Healing,” that I previously described, I believe that many of the traumas the Lord has carried me back through to heal me from are the very same things my doctor spoke of. With the combination of the prayers of the Body of Christ, support from friends and the healing touch of our Living God, I am sleeping. I am sleeping with minimal medication and sleeping all night long!!! I wake in the morning after a full night of sleep feeling rested, refreshed and safe. This is divine healing. God has brought me to a place where my heart is completely open to Him and obeying Him, and I believe that is how I was able to experience His healing in my life. I still have the random nights of tossing and turning like most people do, but I would say that for the past solid month, I have slept well at least 5 nights a week rather than the occasional 1 night.

Miraculous.

In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe.

Psalm 4:8

I lay down and slept,

yet I woke up in safety,

for the LORD was watching over me.

Psalm 3:5

I Am Full...

Over a year ago I received an email from a friend I had grown up with from middle school through college. One line at the end of the email read, "May God bless you today and fill you with His perfect love." I got that email in April of 2008. The reason I randomly mention it today is that since then almost daily I have pondered the word's, "filled with God's perfect love." I have just wondered exactly what that meant, and even more, what it feels like! Today, I can say I know what it means.

Since I have been home from China, of course I have been spending time catching up with friends and family and telling them of my adventures. I can never find ways to put into words how my heart feels. I cannot find a way to express it other than, I am truly experiencing the Fullness of God's Perfect Love.

I am overflowing.

Full of Hope.

My soul finds rest in God alone...

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Psalm 62:1-2

Here are just a few things to note over the next couple of weeks:

1. I was approved for a darling little studio in the Goose Hollow/PGE Park area downtown. I am so excited! It is absolutely perfect for me. The plan is to move my belongings to my parents' garage over the next few days and move into the apartment the weekend I return from China! Yikes!

2. I am getting prepared for ministry in China. I am just trying to get my heart prepared for serving and sharing the love of Christ with those in China.

3. Work is very busy right now as I cover the medical records position for someone who is on vacation. My workload is that of about 3 positions at once, but somehow I am staying pretty much on top of things! It's a miracle!

4. Sleep has been a struggle lately, so I am working on getting rest and getting as much done as possible! I am doing my best not to stress out and to continue to trust in the Lord as he directs my steps and takes care of each tiny detail in my upcoming plans.

5. I have been serving regularly in the college-age group on Saturday nights for my brother who is the new College-Age Pastor at Beaverton Foursquare- I am so proud of him!! Anyway, we have talked about me becoming more involved relationally with the group rather than just serving in the background. I find this somewhat intimidating, but I am humbled that my brother would like me to become more involved and I am up for the challenge! I have been so blessed by being involved with this group.

6. I am praying that the funds continue to flow in for China. Over half of the money has come in- Praise God!!! And I am deeply humbled and so grateful for the support from those around me. My cup overflows.

7. Modeling. I am thinking about signing a contract with Mode Models. Many of you know I modeled for a few years and stopped about a year ago. Mode has continued to pursue me over the past few months as I have taken time away to consider this. The doors continue to open for this opportunity so I will be shooting my digitals soon and sign a contract when I return from China. This will be a great way to put money away for a new car and nursing school. Yay!

8. An amazing answer to prayer: Christian girlfriends!!! I have been meeting with a handful of amazing women from church on Tuesday mornings for prayer and fellowship. This time has been wonderful. I feel so free to be myself and to be real. What a true blessing.

Please be praying for me as the next couple of weeks are filled with change and transition. I am somewhat nervous at times but I remain hopeful that God will continue to provide as I listen to Him and keep my heart open to do His will.

China Ministry-
If you would like to financially support the team, make your check out to Beaverton Foursquare Church Missions and write "China" on the memo line of the check. Drop it in the offering or mail to Beaverton Foursquare Church, Attention; Peggie Hoffman, 13565 SW Walker Rd., Beaverton, OR 97005. You can also make on-line donations via on-line giving (sign up on line).

These Days...

Well, I am definitely not sure what made me start a blog... I certainly do not have much to report on these days but I am hoping to have something soon! I have reached a very stable point in my life where I am mature, independent, sturdy and relatively happy. Each day I find myself longing for more in life... I am SO READY for God to reveal the "big picture" plan he has for my life. I don't feel as I am living up to my full potential. There is a big, crazy world beyond lil' me, and I have lots to offer it! Stay tuned!

*copyright Brian Stevenson Photography