My Heroes.

We all know that my family is just so very dear to my heart. I have lots to say about this today. I don't even know where to start... I think before I talk about my weekend I will talk about my parents. They are AMAZING. There are some things we really don't come to full realization of until adulthood. I wish I could see this clearer as a child. My parents work so incredibly hard. I am PROUD of where I come from- they make me proud. My mom and dad each came from big families; 6 kids and 5 kids respectively. My parents are each 1 of 2 kids of those families who have come out of poverty drug and alcohol- free and without criminal background. Not only that, but they are successful and humble. I am not one of those "kids" who thinks I'm "cool" because my parents "have money." Growing up I was always annoyed by the kids I went to school with who thought they were more important than others just because their parents could afford high end clothes, cars and homes. Lucky for me, when I was growing up my parents didn't have much. As a young child, my needs were met with the necessities, and Chris and I had best friends in one another to keep us occupied. We lacked nothing. Now they have much more and drive nice cars, but I don't feel cool because of the material possessions. I feel proud and impressed because of where my parents came from and where they are now as direct results of their work ethic, responsibility, humility, and my mother's trust in the Lord. Unlike myself, as young adults my parents had no one to "bail them out" when they faced financial hardship or illness. Their parents couldn't put a deposit in their checking account when things got hard. No one bought their first car for them or paid for their college education. They were raised with love and strong ethical values. As some of their siblings chose drugs, alcohol and other not so wise choices and lifestyles, they chose much more difficult routes of education, athletics and WORK. They made lives for themselves against all odds. I cannot express enough how truly amazed I am at who my parents are. I have been pondering how I may learn to have the same tenacious heart and attitude towards life that they do. I am so grateful for my grandparents who had no money but were/are wealthy with wisdom and passed it to my mom and dad who put those words into true action and rose above the odds against them growing up as black people in Dayton, Ohio.

Mom and Dad, you are my heroes!!!

Good Eats!

Quick Recipe

Since I have been sharing this recipe with my co-workers and it seems to be enjoyed, I thought I would share it on my blog too!

Below is a favorite that is quick, easy and tastes great reheated as well.

Season lean ground turkey with Mexican seasoning and chili powder

Place on medium heat in a saucepan

Add organic canned black beans

Add organic frozen corn

When meat is almost done, add organic chunky, medium salsa

Heat and stir until all ingredients are mixed well and cooked thoroughly

*it can be varied by putting on top of brown rice, or my favorite- topping with chopped avocado!

YUM!!!

I don’t enjoy dairy products but cheddar cheese, and sour cream may also make tasty toppings.

Filling in the blanks...

Not much to say on this one… I have so many questions for God… Some "blanks" that need to be filled in...


Today I am pondering God’s Will in my life. I am wondering how I am sure I hear His voice sometimes. I am longing to be obedient and wise and wondering why sometimes things don’t turn out the way they seem they will. Days like these can be frustrating but I am feeling increasingly determined to use it as a season of learning and a time to get to know the heart of God more. I want my desires to be His desires…

Over the past few months I have seen His grace abound in my life as I heal, grow, learn and seek Him. I want to trust that this will continue as I seek to trust Him in a deeper way.

My favorite childhood verse... Matthew 7:7... I am continuing to ask.

On a lighter note, I must say that I am really enjoying these beautiful, sunny, brisk, wintery days. Oregon is a beautiful place when it is not raining. I am grateful. 

Thanksgiving Weekend

This past weekend was amazing.

For Thanksgiving my family got together as usual. It was my parents and the boys and myself and the Clark's as always. Also, my dear friends, Megan, John and Madeline joined us for a couple of hours. We had dinner at the Clark's house and went bowling later in the evening. It was so much fun!!! First, I loved having Megan, John and Madeline (the Snowkin's) join us. They have become very close friends of mine and they are from Wisconsin, so I wanted to be sure they had some family here to celebrate with. We really enjoyed them and I think my mom really enjoyed Madeline- she is definitely feeling ready for some grandkids! :) Hopefully Madeline will hold her over for awhile. Haha. At dinner, it was just us and the Clark's as the Snowkin's wanted to go home and spend some intimate family time together, and Chris and Erin were up in Washington with Erin's family. Chris and Erin joined us soon after dinner and we all headed to the bowling alley. Even though I bowled absolutely horrible, it was an absolute blast! We had the place to ourselves and a couple of other families joined us. We filled about 5 lanes of healthy family fun and competition!!!

Me, Megan and Madeline :) Madeline helped us prepare packages for the homeless of Portland on her very first Thanksgiving. How is that for a giving heart? ;)

Whitney, Jordan and me at the bowling alley.

Auntie Linda and Mom

Chris and Erin. So cute.

Chris, me Jordan and Whit. I think this was all of our favorite Thanksgivings!!!

On Friday, my mom and Auntie Linda had a surprise day planned for Whitney and I. Usually the four of us spend a couple of days in Seattle between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but this year we just didn't have the time. I have to say, this day was just as much fun as Seattle! Whit and I are so very blessed to have such sweet and thoughtful mothers. First we took a quick trip to Target. Next we went to Bob's Redmill in Milwaukie. We had breakfast there and then they let us do some shopping. It was great because they have tons of baking products for gluten-free baking and it's really expensive, so it was nice for my mom to treat me so I can do some holiday baking that won't make me sick! Then we visited another bakery nearby and headed downtown. When we got downtown we took out the neat little packages we prepared on Thanksgiving. Auntie Linda came up with the brilliant idea to buy several pairs of thick winter socks and stuff them with snacks and toiletry items to hand out to the homeless people in downtown Portland. So we took them around that day. It was awesome!!! People were truly thankful and blessed and as we began to run out of them we longed for more! Since we enjoyed it so much and it is such a simple way to bless others' we decided to make a much bigger "batch" in December when Whitney is in town again and hand them out, but bring the whole family next time. I am so excited for that! Next we of course, went to get pedicures. This has always been one of our favorite past times to do together. The beauty bar we went to was in Tigard. It was really hip and trendy and they gave us these nifty little neck warmers, foot massages, and a complitmentary glass of wine. Now that's what I call a great pedicure!!! ;)

The 4 of us in front of Bob's Redmill

Mom and I next to some random statues downtown.

Whit and I waiting for our pedicures.

Waiting for my nails to dry and very pleased.

After pedicures we went to Jordan's quarter-final football game against Grant. It was a great game and we won 33-0. GO CRUSADERS!!! This week we will be playing West Salem in the semi-final game at PGE Park on Friday @ 5pm. By the way, many of our family friends have come out to support Jordan and we are humbled at how many people have been there. Thanks so much!

Mom and I always take a proud photo after a win! :)

The rest of the weekend was great as well. I got to spend some time with friends, and Sunday was another family day ending with church and hanging out with Chris' girlfriend, Erin. She is a true blessing!

Fall Joy!

I just have to take a few minutes to brag today.

My brothers are all amazing. This fall I made a commitment to myself that I would make them my priority. Meaning, being at football games and serving with them respectively. My weekends have largely been devoted to supporting them and I am so blessed by this decision!

Let's begin from the youngest, Jason. This boy is a little (getting bigger) firecracker to say the least!!! He has such a sweet, tender heart, but also very much a mind of his own. He is always trying to keep his busy little mind occupied and bless his heart, he really tries to stay out of trouble but sometimes his 12 year old impulsivity and curiosity sure does get the best of him at times! He is a challenge but a dear one! He played football this fall for Sunset Youth, and he played fabulously! His team only allowed TWO touchdowns to be scored on them ALL season! And Jason, excelled in both offense and defense. I am so proud to watch him mature and be able to really listen and learn from his coaches this year. It has been a delight to see his excitement for games and practices. Here are some photos:

Jason turned 12 last weekend... I baked him a Red Velvet cake/cupcakes and even though it didn't look great, he was thrilled. :)

His team won the championships!

All the little guys cheering with their trophy.

There he is; #3. I cannot believe how big he is getting! He will be taller than me by the end of the year!

Precious!!!

Now for Jordan. He turned the big 1-7 in September! He is now a junior at Jesuit High School and I am so proud of him. He is making wise choices, keeping his grades up and working his tail off in football. It is certainly paying off! Now about keeping those girls away... *wink, wink*

Watching him this year has been bittersweet. I am watching him quickly blossom into a man and I am constantly reminded that in just a year he will be making a decision about which college to go to and moving away. It makes me sad, but I know he will do very well. It is so hard for me to watch my dear brothers get so old! Here are some photos from his season:

The handsome younger ones at Jason's birthday... look at Jordan's litle smirk. He cracks me up!

Mom and I, with a few other mom's fed 45 Jesuit players a pre-game meal! Crazy! It went well though.

Warm-ups before a game early in the season.

Blurry warm-ups from last week's playoff game in Medford.

S. Medford Game

I always try to get shots of him without his helmet. :)

So, Jordan's team is now in the quarterfinals and they play Grant High School this Friday night. I can't wait!!!

Mom and I at the playoff game last week! Go Crusaders!!!

Then there's Christopher. I have really enjoyed serving at Sunday Night @ 6 Service with him, and sometimes Erin is there, which is nice. It has been fun to spend time with the two of them. It is very important to me to get closer to Erin. I feel like we have had some good times recently. What an answered prayer! :)

Also, I couldn't be more proud of him and his new position as the College-Age Pastor at Beaverton Foursquare Church. He is pouring his life and heart out to this ministry and I am excited to see him grow through this!

Chris with Mom and I, cheering for the Crusaders!

Silly us!

Love it!

Chris and Erin.

Erin and I happened to both bring our knitting projects over to my parents' house last weekend. Fun!

Dad, Me and Erin at Jason's birthday. Cute lil group.

That's all for now. I just thought I would share some of the joyous parts of this fall. Of course, I must add that it has been fun as usual to be at the games with my parents and enjoy time with them. We took a 6 hour (each way) trip on the bus with other parents to South Medford last weekend and it was actually a really good time!

My gorgeous mama snuggled up to my dad on the bus while he makes business phone calls. Cuties.

Home for the Holidays...

Bittersweet news: I just emailed Bethel to let them know I cannot make it for the Holidays. It is simply not wise for me financially. I am somewhat disappointed, but of course grateful for my family and spending it with them as usual!

Thanks so much for the prayers, everyone! More news to come.

HIGH HOPES!!

Ok, so I only have a minute but here is a quick update:

Yesterday I was pondering China with the Lord... checking my calendar and thinking about how little PTO I have especially after being sick. Then it dawned on me; work is closing for Christmas and New Year's for a week and a half straight! I of course love spending the holidays with my family, but what a joy and delight it would be to spend it serving at Bethel!?! Right?? SO, I got some pastoral advice, which said to move forward, then I emailed Bethel, and they gave me the big "thumbs up." Now it is up to my Father in heaven. If He somehow provides the airfare, then I get to celebrate Christmas and begin the New Year in China, at Bethel! WHOA!!!

Please pray, send happy thoughts... whatever you feel lead to do. I am hoping BIG!

Fear Not...

I have to say, my tender heart has been burdened. I have been struck with anxiety while reading the news lately. This past year and even week, has been full of horrific stories of violence within places where we naturally assume safety such as home and the workplace. The recent shootings within families, and intruders at work... ugh, they sadden me deeply and I have been pondering how I can possibly feel safe anywhere I go. This morning I am feeling more hopeful as the Lord reminds me of His divine protection over my life. I am still wrestling inside about why these things happen, but in the end I must rest, knowing my life is in His hands. There is nothing I can do to be safe but trust Him and walk in the freedom He has given me. This passage in Isaiah comes to mind as he reminds me of the freedom that I, specifically have found in Him:

"I took you from the ends of the earth,

from its farthest corners I called you.

I said, 'You are my servant';

I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

All who rage against you

will surely be ashamed and disgraced;

those who oppose you

will be as nothing and perish.

Though you search for your enemies,

you will not find them.

Those who wage war against you

will be as nothing at all.

For I am the LORD, your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you. "

Isaiah 41:10-13

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."

1 Peter 3:13-15

Why do I put my hope in Him???
He loves me, He's my Father, my Protector, my Shield, my Grace, my Stregnth, my Savior.

 

"In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because He first loved us."

1 John 4:17-19

Mom & Dad

While laying around recovering from my wisdom teeth removal,

I have been silently rejoicing one of life's greatest gifts:

Mom and Dad

"Honor your father and your mother so that you may

live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."

Exodus 20:12

Christmas tree outing Winter 2008

First, my mom.  She's my best friend. She's funny, silly, playful and athletic. My earliest memories of childhood are some of my favorite. Even when she was a single mom it was obvious that she loved (and still does) being our mom. When she was not working she was always playing with us laughing with us... finding something to do where we were learning and enjoying our time together.

Most importantly, she loves and trusts the Lord arguably more than anyone I know. I have not always appreciated this-it used to be too convicting (yikes), now I'm inspired. I want to be a woman who loves and serves the Lord the way my mom does. I want to be a wife and mom who holds her family at the center of her heart. Who weeps and cries out to the Lord interceding for her family.

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Proverbs 31:26-31

We laugh together, cry together, shop together and we love pedicures together. We share secrets and tears and words of 

encouragement and love. It has taken some time to get to where we are in our relationship. I think we'd both say that although we have always been close friends, the Lord has mended some wounds from the past and our relationship is purely wonderful and blessed. And I must add, that where I am now, spiritually, physically, emotionally... it is a direct result of my mom's prayers and trust in the Lord. There were a lot of prayers and a lot of tears shed on behalf of her daughter who was once trying to escape the embrace of our Loving Savior. Thanks for not giving up, Mommy.

This brings me to my dad. In many ways the journey to where we are now was a little more rocky and difficult, but our Divine Healer has put in work and I think it made for a solid, secure, new foundation! I am and always will be a "Daddy's Girl," and I feel like I get to live it with him. We have become close in my adult years and we just have a great time together. We talk openly about issues that most dads probably don't with their daughters. I would say we have quite an honest and sincere relationship. This has taken time though... there was a time when he didn't want me to call him "Dad." Then there was a time when I didn't want that either. Now I cannot imagine it any other way! He has chosen me as his daughter just as God has chosen us as his children. The more I think of this, my heart is touched in a profound way. Truly, he chose me. He could have easily taken on a role of "step-dad" in my life and that would have been just fine. However, he chose another route; he decided that he was going to instill values in me. He would teach me how to respect my elders, have impecable manners, to be grateful for all I have- legitimately grateful. And he has shown me how to clean to perfection! :) I now say I get my OCD ways from my dad. Haha.

"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

Proverbs 1:8

We both brag about our date nights. Whenever he takes me out I am reminded how important I am and the way I should be treated as a woman. My dad has also taught me a lot about work ethic. He is one of the hardest working individuals I have ever encountered. My dad works hard. He sets goals and he makes them happen. I am working towards having that same tenacious heart with whatever I put my hands to. I also hope to someday marry a man who has no less work ethic than my father. Hey, it could happen! ;)

My greatest desire for my dad is that he will one day sense the same humble excitement when he comes to the full realization of Christ our Lord chosing himself as His son.

My parents are amazing.

I hope my life brings honor to them.

China

Loved ones, as promised here is an update on the status of my return to China:

The day after my last update post, I heard from Bethel, the orphanage in China. They asked that I decide on which dates and let them know when I would like to come over the summer! This would be 2 or 3 weeks of time to volunteer there as a trial to see if we would all be a good fit together. Obviously I received this news quite awhile ago, and unlike my usual self, I told no one. After a couple days I ended up confiding in a couple of dear friends and now I am speaking more openly about it. I am not sure why it was hard to discuss in the beginning. But when I read that email inviting me to come I weeped for hours. The same thing happened when I shared my news with a dear friend for the first time; I was extremely emotional. I presume the tears were niether negative or positive. It's just that I was expecting the news to come in a few more weeks, so I was surprised. Also, going back to China is just so near to my heart. I cannot even find words to describe how much that place and the people touch the inner most places in my heart and soul. My church family in China is wonderfully supportive and loving and thoughtful. They bless me abundantly!

For now, I am keeping in touch with the two individuals who coordinate volunteers and we have been getting to know one another via email. It's fun! I will soon meet with a pastor from Beaverton Foursquare to talk about some other details.

For you who have committed to prayer support for me, here are some things I am asking Our Father about:

*Is Bethel still where He would like me to go?
*Timing- when should I go and how long?
*Health- continued healing
*Finances- God's provision over my current financial burdens and for my ministry in China.
*Purposeful living in the mean time- I have made a point to be intentional about not being so focused on the future (China) that I lose sight of opportunities to serve and love and grow here in Portland, now. God is doing a complete work in me and I am beyond thrilled about it and so blessed!

Thank you, loved ones, for your support, love, prayers and well wishes!

Now I lay me down to sleep...

I believe it is common knowledge that sleep is something I have been struggling with for a few years now. My insomnia has been a chronic problem that has even been resistant to several very strong medical interventions. I remember about 2 years ago when my primary care provider, who had been my doctor since high school, told me that it is possible no amount of medications would help me sleep because of significant trauma I had undergone. She told me that my brain was likely protecting me through insomnia. She compared it to survival instincts in nocturnal animals that stay awake to protect themselves from predators. I remember feeling like her explanation of my condition made more sense than what I had heard from any other medical specialist, but it was also not as easily solved as, “here’s a pill, take it before bed and sleep soundly!” I was not sure what to do with that information other than take it to the Lord. In those days my relationship with God was not quite as strong as it is now, so I did pray, but not with the fervent heart and expectation of healing that I pray with now.

O LORD, hear me as I pray;

pay attention to my groaning.

2 Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God,

for I pray to no one but you.

3 Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD.

Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.

Psalm 5 1-3

Anyway, in the recent months I have shared my experience of not sleeping with many friends here and in China and I know that there are MANY people who have been praying for me. I feel so loved and cared for by my family and friends, who have prayed for me, sent me thoughtful notes and encouraged me in my frustrating times. Throughout this “Season of Healing,” that I previously described, I believe that many of the traumas the Lord has carried me back through to heal me from are the very same things my doctor spoke of. With the combination of the prayers of the Body of Christ, support from friends and the healing touch of our Living God, I am sleeping. I am sleeping with minimal medication and sleeping all night long!!! I wake in the morning after a full night of sleep feeling rested, refreshed and safe. This is divine healing. God has brought me to a place where my heart is completely open to Him and obeying Him, and I believe that is how I was able to experience His healing in my life. I still have the random nights of tossing and turning like most people do, but I would say that for the past solid month, I have slept well at least 5 nights a week rather than the occasional 1 night.

Miraculous.

In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe.

Psalm 4:8

I lay down and slept,

yet I woke up in safety,

for the LORD was watching over me.

Psalm 3:5

Update...

Many of you have been asking me for updates regarding my hopeful return to China. The update on that is I am waiting. I have sent my resume and letters of recommendation to Bethel. They have confirmed that they have received them and beyond that I have no other feedback. The wonderful thing is that this time of waiting is truly with patience and peace. Most of you who know me, know that patience is not always strength of mine! However, I am being carried by a Father who knows me best and is sending constant confirmations that for this time I am exactly where He would like me to be.

A few of the things I am focused on right now (in no particular order):

* Friends. Over the past year or maybe longer, I had become quite withdrawn in some ways and distanced myself from many of the people I care most about. I was not my usual social self. It is still not clear to me why I was that way, but what is clear is that I am back!!! :) I have filled my schedule with time with friends old and new and I am just enjoying the love of friendship. This season has included many laughs and tears with friends and it is just quite simply brilliant!

Amanda and Eric came to one of Jordan's football games... it was so fun to reunite with them!

* Health. I joined the gym so I would not be running around downtown in the dark this fall and winter. My organic cooking and regular exercise continues and I am feeling great!

* “Green Living”- Ha ha. I enjoy that phrase. But really, I have been trying to recycle as much as possible. I have also been trying to think of ways that I can reuse, such as using the same sandwich bag for my pecans every day. It may sound silly, and we all know that I am no environmentalist but I think it is wise not to be wasteful and I am kind of taking that to a new level by being more aware of what I am wasting and how I can reduce that.

* Making my bed. I know this sounds silly, but I find that it is so easy to be in a hurry in the morning and take off without making the bed. Since I moved into my apartment in early September, I have made my bed every single morning before leaving the house. I find that it sets a tone for the day; being intentional about completing something. And I come home to a neat and tidy apartment in the evening. It’s really the small things sometimes.

* Journaling. I have kept a journal since 1st grade. I have a whole box of journals I have kept over the years. My experience recently is that it can be difficult to force myself to write when I am not feeling “inspired” but there is something therapeutic for me about taking a bit to write no matter how long or short. So I have made a new goal to journal daily-one sentence. This is a brand new goal, but I like it so far. We will see how it goes. :)

* Healing. Before I left China the Lord spoke to me and told me that upon returning to the States, I would be in a season of healing. Well, folks, He kept His promise beyond what I expected imagined, or was aware that I needed! He didn’t just drag me through some painful things, but He carried me through. He has taken me through every pain and hurt and mended my heart completely. It is so humbling to have a heavenly Father that cares so much for my wholeness. I want every single person I know and love to experience the fullness of His perfect love, and the freedom of His healing touch!!!

* Family. We all know I love them! I have been making it a true priority to make it to each of my brothers’ football games, to spend quality time with my parents and serving with Christopher. There is something so rich about relationships in the family rather than just being related. I find that with Jason and Jordan I have to work a little harder or differently to be close with them. Since our ages are so far apart I cannot be close to them by just talking on the phone. They need to see me and be supported by me physically. I have been to each of Jordan’s football games and really enjoying hanging out with him afterwards as usual. And I have made it to most of Jason’s games. Also, my office is just blocks from Jason’s school, so I have been going down there weekly and hanging out with him during his lunch. That has been so much fun and it makes him feel special and loved! And Christopher and I remain as close as ever. Serving at church with him has been awesome, and our relationship is just deep. We tell each other most everything and pray over each other and encourage each other and challenge each other. We truly have a blessed relationship. Same with my mom and dad and I. Mom and I still talk on the phone several times a day, go shopping together and just hang out. We have been learning a lot about each other as adult women and our relationship grows stronger daily. And my dad is just great. He is such a strong man who is faithful in his work ethic and making sure his family is cared for. He also loves his girl (me)! We have a great time joking around together and talking seriously. I think he is proud of me right now and that is important to me. I love my family. My cup overflows.

Speaking of family, I should also add that my Uncle Al visisted last week and took Chris and I out to dinner. He always makes a point to invite us out when he is in town on business. We were so blessed by our visit with him and we are so proud of the man he is. We are hoping to have a reunion next year with the Thornton family. That would be great, because I really miss Jayslee and wish we could be closer. She is amazing and I am so proud of her! I miss my sisser.

I have also been making more of an effort to call Grandma Betty. She is the last grandparent left and even though I haven't known her my whole life, it feels like I have, and we have the BEST time talking on the phone! She is just so funny. Phone dates with her are absolutely delightful!

* Serving. I have started to attend Sunday Night @ 6 services regularly and I love it! I have found my place it seems… I have been going to pre-service prayer and set-up and I hope to continue serving in that way. The pastors there-who now include my brother, Chris, are awesome, and so is everyone else I have met there! It feels like a great group of people who love Jesus and love each other. Pretty good deal if you ask me!

I think that pretty much sums things up! I am richly blessed.

P.S. I have stayed in touch with my friends in China. We email and chat regularly. I miss them terribly some days. They bless me so much.

Thursday Night 9/17

 Those of us who went to China in August will be sharing testimonies about the trip. Click the link for details! China Night

I Am Full...

Over a year ago I received an email from a friend I had grown up with from middle school through college. One line at the end of the email read, "May God bless you today and fill you with His perfect love." I got that email in April of 2008. The reason I randomly mention it today is that since then almost daily I have pondered the word's, "filled with God's perfect love." I have just wondered exactly what that meant, and even more, what it feels like! Today, I can say I know what it means.

Since I have been home from China, of course I have been spending time catching up with friends and family and telling them of my adventures. I can never find ways to put into words how my heart feels. I cannot find a way to express it other than, I am truly experiencing the Fullness of God's Perfect Love.

I am overflowing.

A few things I miss about China...

1. Girlfriends- in China females who are friends hold hands and sometimes put their arms around each other while walking down the street to show their affection. I LOVED IT! I am such a snuggly person that I welcomed interlocking hands with my new sisters. :)

2. The thrill of trying to cross the street! There is a saying about the traffic lights in China, "Green means go, red means run!" I would get tingles as I literally raced across the street trying to calculate how many inches I was from losing my life! It was great for my tendency to be a little dramatic. The photo below tells it all:

I was definitely nervous every time, but it was fun!

3. Darling children everywhere!! I think what I liked even more about the children there was, since there is not much diversity in China (none, really),most of the kids hadn't seen a black woman walking by on a regular basis-if ever, so they were fascinated by me. They would stare and smile when they saw me! It was as though they were as much in awe of me as I was in them. :) This precious babe below was blowing me kisses out of nowhere!

4. People outside enjoying each other's company. In Beijing people were always out enjoying each other at night. In parks everyone was playing whether they knew each other or not... people were dancing in the streets, roller skating together, and playing with Chinese-style hacky sacks, etc. I found it very refreshing!

5. Silly and different things like "work-out equipment" randomly placed on the sidewalk. Brilliant! I just love China!

瓷窃取了我的心脏

More about China...

Continued from my last post...

*the group after yummy lunch and cake!

After the lunch gathering to see Pastor Mark off and celebrate birthdays it was our last night at the hostel before heading off to the university to serve at TIP. I think our small training that night was when I began to feel ill. I will not add details about this, but let's just say that upon our arrival at TIP, I didn't see the light of day for at least 36 hours. I was horribly ill. I will share a few of the things I did while sick-just because it makes me laugh. Some of my friends from church took me to the Chinese pharmacy to translate for me so I could buy medication for my sick tummy. Now this was a complete act of faith and trust in those girls, because I, of all people would not typically take medication that is from another country, let alone with instructions in another language!!! :) But I did. So while sick in bed and sad that my team was at the Great Wall without me, I pulled out my Chinese-English dictionary and tried to match the characters on the medication box with symptoms I was having to try to decode the box. It was entertaining for a little while! Also, I had a bottle of strawberry gum tablets. Since eating was not an option I chewed those... I played some "games" to see how many I could chew at a time, how long before they lost flavor, etc. I know, I am so silly but it was all I could do not to lose my mind on that bunk bed!

Also, I had a chance to have a pretty amazing talk with one of the girls on the BFS team who arrived a week prior to myself. I also spent lots of time in the Word and making lists and praying for friends and family in the States and for the future. My sweet buddies, Katie, Skye, Youf and Scott ended up bringing me a pretty fan with the Great Wall on it when they returned. Also, Katie recorded footage of her doing a cartwheel on the GW since I had talked about it the week prior. They are so sweet!!!

When I "came back to life," I was able to attend church with our brothers and sisters from the first week and it was just great! I love how God has already provided me with a church family and an English service if I move to China!

*Skye, Sophia and me at church

Here are some of the other things we did on the trip:

visited Bethel one last time (for now):

*on our way to Bethel



*singing together at Bethel
Explored Beijing a little bit more...

*shopping at Silk Street (and random lady)

*Tianamen Square where Scott and I were famous for being foreign

The week at TIP was lots of fun and time with students was so anointed and full of blessings! Here are some of the things we did with them:

Projects: making posters and commercials with our classes.

*Youf and I with some students


*me with some of my favorite students
Katie and I led the Science Club, and one night we had them break into teams and make bridges out of chop sticks and compete to see who's was strongest. That was fun!


We also did dorm visits in the evenings. Dorm visits were the highlight of my TIP experience (along with teaching diction). The girls were always so delighted to see me, and I them. And I loved how humbled and surprised they were when I remembered their names and found them in their dorm rooms. There were some pretty special times there. I cannot really put them into words. I became very close with one young woman there, and I asked her to give me a Chinese name. She took this very seriously and she gave me her family name so we are Chinese sisters! It warms my heart every time I think of it. I giggled with delight when I emailed her yesterday and signed it with the special name she gave me! :) If you want to know the name you have to ask... there is a story behind it.

*Dorm visits :)- OK, I admit... the girls convinced me to sing Michael Jackson's "Heal the World," to them before bed. It was HILARIOUS!

I still cannot find the right words to "sum it up." I don't know that I ever will. Experiences such as those in the last two weeks are not meant to be described with words in my opinion. The way I can describe it is to take all that I learned from my Chinese brothers and sisters, my ministry team from BFS and my family and friends supporting me in resources and prayer and LIVE IT.

Live:
the grace
the commitment
the integrity
the truth
the faith
the friendship
the blessings
the humility

and the love that only our Heavenly Father Above can provide.

*the photo my Chinese sister asked to take to symbolize our commitment to one another as friends.